How to Know When a Second Date is In the Cards

7 Ways To Know Your First Date Is Going Really Well

So you get to the point where you’re actually on the first date with a girl you’ve been hoping to get to know. That can be a huge success in itself. But then as soon as you reach that goal another appears on the table…date two. Here’s how to tell if she’s as interested in another round as you are.

She hasn’t taken out her phone.

It’s a good sign that a girl is really engaged when she doesn’t ever look at her phone when you guys are sitting there talking. She will actually look at her phone when she goes to the bathroom, which is when she’ll text her best friend that things are going great. A lot of people are generally polite about the phone stuff, but even the nicest girl will pull out the phone at some point to check the time or try and find an out if the date isn’t going that well. If you guys have been vibing and totally lose track of the time because no one is paying attention to anything happening outside of the conversation, that’s a very good thing.

There’s a discussion about the date while you’re on it.

If you have no interest in seeing a person ever again you probably wouldn’t bring up anything about the date or your feelings leading up to it. For example, admitting nervousness, saying they’re even better looking in person, laughing over how much fun you’re having, etc. You say those things when you mean it. If she happens to bring something up like that it’s because she’s processing the bond and considering what happens next. And if she just straight up says that she’s enjoying herself or that she likes you, trust that. There’s no reason that someone would say that and not mean it, so go with it.

Her body language says so.

You don’t want to get too technical trying to decode someone’s body language in the moment, but we tend to naturally pick up on some important cues when they present themselves. When people lean away from you and cross their arms, it’s not quite as inviting as when she turns to face you on a bar stool and occasionally puts her hand on your knee or bumps your arm when she leans in to talk closely to you. Right??

If the bar is loud and she has to get close to your ear to talk, notice what she does when you respond. If she pulls all the way back and only half listens to you through the noise, maybe not great. If she stays close and actually scoots her chair closer to close the gap between you, great. If you guys are taking a walk or something notice how close or far she’s walking next to you. People aren’t necessarily doing this consciously which is why it’s such a great tool for knowing how they really feel. We gravitate towards people that we’re into, and we stay farther away from people that we aren’t.

Anything that leans toward creating intimacy between the two of you in a public place means that she’s considering it. She might not like hop on your lap, but showing that she’s comfortable being near you is always a good sign. Especially when there are other people around to take notice. We all have at least a subtle awareness that other people are watching us from time to time, and when you’re on a first date it’s natural to consider if people can tell you’re on a first date or if you’re a couple. If she already knows for sure that she wouldn’t want other people to think that you two were a couple, she won’t act like it either.

The date goes longer than expected.

Let’s say you meet for coffee and then you end up walking around and heading to lunch, which then turns into a drink, or whatever. Clear signs that something happening. I can assure you that if a girl isn’t interested she isn’t going to stick around any longer than she has to, and changing locations provides the easiest out ever. If someone chooses to continue on, they are making that choice because it’s a better option than anything else they had planned that day.

Of course there are some people who exist out there who are just trying to get a free meal or something, but let’s assume you don’t have to deal with any of them for this example. If you ask her to continue the date and she says she can’t that doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s not interested though, she might really have something planned. But pay attention to the way that she expresses that, and if it seems like she’s relieved to have something else planned or if she’s giving off the vibe that she would prefer to linger for a while.

I personally have never had anything important scheduled the same time that I have a date, because I only go out with people that I’m really interested in and I’d rather see where things go. As a personal example, one time a guy asked me to go for a hike and then once we finished he asked me to lunch. That’s a perfect situation, if I wasn’t interested I could have easily ended things there.

Another example is literally the coffee to lunch to drinks one…a first date that lasted 18 hours. That’s not always going to work with everyone’s schedule obviously but it’s safe to say that we were on the same page. And no there was no hanky panky in that extended amount of time if you’re wondering, just the kiss. Which brings us to…   

There’s a kiss.

There are a lot of factors involved in how this goes down (or not), but if you guys are on the same page about a high level of interest the kiss is likely to occur. It’s more like how could it not. People generally hug at the end of a date regardless just as a nicety, and it’s very obvious within that hug whether there’s an opening for a kiss. This should come naturally but you still have to make the move to do it. If she’s responsive and it goes well, that’s a yes on the second date. Sometimes people will peck back just because they don’t know how to deflect a kiss and feel awkward about turning their head, but you can tell the difference between something that feels forced or mutually awesome.

The ending of the date seems natural.

The date has to end at some point, but when there’s a mutual interest the ending tends to come at a natural pace. It isn’t an abrupt ending, that’s the key thing. If she suddenly says that she had to do something or is just like “okay well, that was nice thanks” at awkward juncture she might just be ready to go. Some people are more awkward than others so if she’s particularly challenged in social situations maybe she just doesn’t know what to do. Anxiety can get best of people. But that is something that you would have noticed from the beginning of a date. Go with your gut feelings, if it seems like an abrupt ending it might have been. If it seemed to wind down naturally, then it probably did.

When she accepts a second date.

Of course you’ll never know for sure that she’s down for round two until she actually accepts the second date. If you’re comfortable asking her out again even if you’re not sure she’ll say yes, then good for you. You never know. But if you’re hoping to avoid as much rejection as possible as you sort through the dating world, just tune in on the signs and you’ll generally be able to tell pretty quickly into the first date if a second one is also in the cards.