How to Know When It’s the Right Time to Get Physical
To start off let’s just say there is not one set “right” or “wrong” time for all relationships to get physical, just like there isn’t a right or wrong to meet the friends, or make things official, or move in together, or anything else in a relationship. But there can be right and wrong times within the parameters of each individual relationship, which is what you’re really wondering when you’re trying to figure it out. Here are some things to keep in mind.
So, having sex very early on in a relationship is not necessarily a bad thing, but it will open things on a different level, which often means that more emotions are involved. What those emotions are however can vary dramatically.
If you have sex early on while dating someone, you should be prepared for the fact that she might be wondering what your intentions are, like whether that’s all you want from her. You could just be feeling eager to get going on all of it because you want it all, but she won’t necessarily know this. If your intentions are unclear you can bet that she will be thinking about it, and possibly stressing out about it, which can manifest in some odd behaviors.
It’s not the fact that you want to sleep with her that’s complicated in itself, it’s that if she likes you the stakes will be raised at that point, and it can bring on “the talk” faster than if sex wasn’t involved. That’s fine of course, but before you bring that upon yourself it might be good to have an idea about what it is that you actually want so that you know how to respond if she does in fact bring something up.
Waiting for too long to get physical on the other hand can cause the opposite questions to arise, whether you’re just interested in her as a friend. Or if there’s something weird happening in your pants that she should be concerned about. No really, you should hear the theories that women can come up with if a guy is slow to make a move.
Now if we turn the tables in this situation and say that it’s her who’s trying to speed thing up in the sexual department, you can also see why waiting or not to get physical can affect your feelings as well. If you’re really into someone and she’s rushing the sex you too might question her intentions.
While women tend to get the reputation of being the relationship rushers, sometimes women are intentionally adding some casual stuff to their stuff life just like men do. Sometimes we aren’t in the place for being in a relationship, sometimes we’re dating someone who we really like and aren’t sure where it’s going so we start casually seeing other people to keep ourselves busy so we don’t lose our minds waiting for the object of our affection to commit. The possibilities are endless. So if you happen to be a sensitive type, or the type that overthinks, jumping in quickly can give you the wrong impression.
Clarity about what’s happening is generally a good place to start, whether that’s figuring out if you’re on the same page or simply getting clear in your own mind about what you’re available for.
We’re all adults so it goes without saying that with sex comes along the responsibilities of dealing with STI’s and potential pregnancies, so being careful is never a bad idea.
The right time to get physical really has a lot to do with your intentions, willingness to communicate, and paying attention to the vibes that are coming from her. If you’re looking for something casual or wouldn’t mind if the relationship ended quickly, it doesn’t really make a difference when you make the move. (At least for you.)
But if you’re taking the woman seriously in the sense that you want to keep getting to know her and could see the possibility of a relationship down the line, taking your time is generally a good idea.
Personally, I’d say a few dates is great. First date impressions are often a little different than what follows in the next couple dates, and spending a few different occasions getting to know someone really increases the comfort. If a guy can’t wait a few dates, then he isn’t interested in dating. If he doesn’t push the sexual aspect while he’s actively pursuing, then he seems serious. Great relationships usually have both a companionship and a great sexual connection, and it’s a lot easier to build the companionship first as opposed to the other way around.
In fact having that in place (or the beginning stages of it at least) can make the sex that much better when it does happen. The concept of waiting a few dates shouldn’t be a negative one. If you’re into each other she wants to have sex as much as you do, so the waiting part can get pretty hot. There’s nothing wrong with a little buildup, it’s like extended foreplay, which works great.
If she’s waving you in then you don’t need to wonder about it. If she wasn’t considering getting physical then she wouldn’t start staying the night with you or inviting you in at the end of the date. If you really can’t tell what she’s thinking about it the best thing to do is just ease into it. But you might have to make the first move whether you know how she’s going to feel about the advance or not.
Sometimes we think that we’re giving strong signals when we’re not, and sometimes we don’t think we’re sending signals at all and other people interpret it that we are. Perhaps people see what they want to see and don’t look for what they’re a little afraid to see? The many mysterious of communication and body language. Once you make an actual move however it should be pretty obvious whether she’s receptive to it continuing. If she is then take it from there, and if she’s not, it might be time to say goodnight.