Having these things makes you good relationship material.

Each woman has a slightly different version of her ideal man (lucky for you) but there are some general qualities than most of us are looking for in a healthy long-term relationship. Here’s some much needed advice (from a woman) on the top ten qualities that females find attractive in a man when they’re looking for a relationship.

10. Humor

You don’t have to be a comedian or force jokes on a gal, but we always appreciate a man who can make us laugh. In fact sometimes the people that we love make us laugh even when they’re not doing anything funny at all, just their normal mannerisms and thoughts are entertaining to us because they as people are so interesting to us. Some of this comes down to straight chemistry and some of it is personality, but whatever it comes from we definitely look for it when we’re getting to know a guy.

9. Drive

Some women do care about professions and money and some don’t, but the general consensus is generally that drive is important. Having some sort of goals and interests that you’re working for is seen as an admirable quality. The biggest part of this probably has to do with the self-esteem that goes along with self-fulfillment.

We all have different things that we want to accomplish in life, but we feel best when we’re doing that no matter what it is. We want our boyfriend to be confidently fulfilled even if he’s only partway completed the journey of his fulfillment and ultimate goals. Drive in other people is personally motivating as well which makes us want to be better people too.

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The more you’ve experienced the better the chance that you’ve got something new to show or teach us. We love a good inspirational give and take thing with a man.

8. Communication

It almost seems redundant to bring up communication but a lot of people aren’t as good at it as they think they are. Communication isn’t just talking, it involves listening, authenticity, being fair, and talking even when it’s hard. Some of the hardest stuff that we do in life is communicating; it’s those moments that we show the real depth of our inner thoughts and feelings.

That means it can be frightening as hell (and everyone would agree about that) but the alternative of not communicating is a lot scarier in the long term. Without communication the assumptions and grudges and unspoken fears start to come up, and those are way more disruptive than the truth.

7. Similar values

We like to have similar values with the people that we’re dating, since that usually gives relationships the best chance of lasting the long haul. We don’t have to see eye to eye on everything, but we do feel more at ease when the basics are similar. If we put family first above all else we might not totally get a guy who would rather not have one at all. Having a similar hierarchy of priorities is important in relationships, as is moral concepts about the world and existing in it.

6. Friendship

Now it’s not that we’re willing to date every guy who we consider a friend because that is definitely not the case, but we do want to feel like our boyfriend is our friend. We might not talk to you the same way that we talk to our girlfriends (almost certainly not), but we do want to feel like we can talk to you without wondering if it’s something you’re interested in hearing or not. The closer we are to people and the better we are at being able to communicate with them, the easier it is to trust them, which of course is also on the list.

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5. Great sex

Sex is important is relationships, it absolutely is. Without sex there wouldn’t be a whole lot of difference between your girlfriend and your best friend. Romantic relationships involve intimacy and sex is a great way to express your feelings about someone. No two women are going to have the exact same sex drive, but most can agree that having great sex is crucial in a serious relationship. What constitutes great sex can vary a lot however, since some of that is technicalities and some of it is pure connection.

4. Overall Chemistry

Chemistry can exist without trust and commitment, which is why it isn’t higher up on the list, but when those things are accounted for it is extremely important. Chemistry involves the physical spark but it goes beyond that. It’s why you can talk to someone about nothing for hours at a time and it’s why you can also spend time with them not talking and be comfortable with that as well. When you have chemistry you can fall into a natural rhythm and start to read one another and anticipate each other’s emotions. Chemistry is what makes a relationship fun, and it’s what makes it worthwhile to work things out in the moments when things aren’t so fun.

3. Trust

For a relationship to flourish there has to be an element of trust. What that means can differ for different people, since some couples don’t want to be plagues with every single detail of their significant other’s life. But most people want to know that deep down this person is there for them and not just biding the time before they steal their money and run for the hills or something.

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2. Commitment

Commitment is not just about fidelity, although most of us want that pretty seriously. Commitment to the relationship is also really important for us to feel like there’s a stable ground there worth investing in. If we feel like you have one foot in but one foot out we won’t ever be able to relax and enjoy the relationship to its full potential. That’s fine when we’re not looking for something serious, but when we are we want to know that you’re all in the same way that we are. That doesn’t mean there are any guarantees about how things will turn out and we’re aware that not all relationships last forever. But committing to them is going to increase the odds of things lasting.

1. Adoration

We want you to love us, and like us, and think we’re amazing when we first wake up in the morning, and think we’re hilarious when we’re being our goofy most ridiculous self. Sometimes this is the missing ingredient in a lot of relationships that otherwise seem great. Everyone has their issues so it’s not like we think that we’re perfect, but if you strongly like certain aspects of us but not other parts of us we’re going to think that’s an issue. We want to feel like magic in the connection, and a lot of it comes from mutual adoration that’s shared and exchanged in plenty.

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