Why it’s Okay to be a Sensitive Guy

There are a lot of different messages out in society about what it means to be a man or a woman. These days some of those thoughts are shifting in certain ways, but most straight men still come up against a lot of the same ideas about what makes them manly, and sensitivity is not always the top billed quality. But perhaps it should be. Here are some reasons why it’s okay to be a sensitive guy.

It means that you’re self-aware.

If you’re a sensitive person it also means that you’re a self-aware person. It only stings when someone insults you because you consider their words and if they actually mean something true about who you are. You think about it, and there’s nothing wrong with that. The fact that you think about it means that you have an investment in doing things right, because you care about other people.

When people are operating from a place of ego they are only thinking about themselves and can’t be bothered to consider what someone else might think or feel. In some circumstances that might make them seem strong or larger than life, because they just don’t give a damn. That might allow them certain types of success, but at the end of the day it’s good to give a damn about it all.

The world does not belong to one man or one woman, it belongs to all of us who are affecting one another with every single move that we make. Life is about relationships at its core. There are no leaders without followers, or stars without fans. Ignoring the human connection is ignoring the whole point. And if you’re a sensitive person you already know that. You’re ahead of the game.

It means you have a big heart.

Having a big, open heart often means that you have too much love to give. When you have too much love to give it can painfully drip over and feel like your chest is burning out, or it can lead you to hand your love to people who don’t actually deserve a spot in your heart. When you love people too much you open yourself up to getting hurt more, but when you reframe that concept it’s actually one of the strongest things you can do as a man.

Allowing feelings is a powerful choice. A lot of people (both men and women) are closed off and don’t like to feel things. Perhaps they try to control their feelings, or they try to control other aspects of their life in an attempt to keep control over what can and can’t affect them. But that’s coming from a place of fear, it’s running from things that look scary or complicated.

What’s the worst that will happen if you feel something on a deep level? It will hurt? Yeah, but not as much as it hurts to run, because running creates more fear, and fear is a negative emotion that will keep you from trying, and it will keep you from loving.

Feeling is a stronger choice than running because when you feel you’re being honest with who you are. Who you are as a man is always stronger than your emotions, they won’t ruin you. If they happen to rip you open and break you down, you’ll build yourself back up stronger every time and be a better person because of it.

Of course this doesn’t mean that you should put yourself in situations that are actually dangerous or harmful, but when you’re really in touch with your emotions it should be clear where to put your boundaries so that they do their job without being walls that keep out the wrong things. Walls come from fear and the assumption that you can’t handle things that might come at you. Boundaries come from self respect because you are strong willed and know that you can handle anything…but that you have choices about the matter.

Feelings aren’t always directly rational, but stuffing them causes more trouble than just accepting that they exist. You don’t have to act on an emotion in the moment, many times you shouldn’t. But when you don’t fight it, and just observe it from an outsider’s perspective you can just see it for what it is, an emotion. And at that point it will transform into something else. Sometimes we feel angry when we’re actually feeling guilty. Sometimes we feel depressed when we’re actually just sad. With some detached attention emotions will eventually reveal why they’re there, at which point those reasons can be contended with.

Because being thoughtful is always better than then the alternative.

You won’t always feel that people are appreciative of your good behavior, but at the end of the day that is totally on them, not on you. The world needs thoughtful people. When you’re self-aware and realize that doing your best is good enough, it creates a lot more freedom to enjoy things. The things to worry about become fewer the better of a person you become.

If you’re lying, or slacking, or cheating, you’ll have stress following you even if you’re enjoying the feeling of being in control. Eventually you’ll hurt someone, and it might not feel as good as you thought it might. You might even end up hurting yourself. Either way there’s a mess, and yeah you can step over it instead of cleaning it up, but eventually the clutter will just start slowing you down and holding you back.

But when you pay attention and do your best, there’s room in your life. You’ll never be without worries and stress, but you won’t be adding additional ones on top of the inherent ones. You won’t be avoiding real issues because you’re not caught up in the fake ones. You’ll have real issues, but you can work through them faster and get them out of the way. There’s room for more people, more opportunities, more money, more happiness.

When you treat others with respect it’s because you respect yourself, and you’re confident that the right people will respect you back. It’s not easy to care about people who don’t care back, but again the fact that you aren’t afraid to try says loads about your character. Being able to graciously give without needing anything back can make any day a beautiful day, even if nothing else interesting happens.

We all have out moments of course, and don’t always feel like we do the right thing even when our intentions are good. But when you have good intentions you will also be more likely to right your wrongs after the fact, and apologize when it’s appropriate. You will also be more likely to expect the same from other people, which means that you actually demand respect back.

Connecting with the right people is extra powerful.

When you’re sensitive you might not get along with everyone. In fact you might just have a core group of people who you feel comfortable with. When it comes to dating it can take more time to find the right people, because when you’re sensitive not just anyone will do. You don’t want to hurt anyone so you might not be big on carrying out relationships where someone is more serious about it than you. You feel a lot, so when someone isn’t all in but you are, it doesn’t feel right either. Maybe you’re more intuitive than other people, or the little things matter more. You might be specific about what works for you, which is why when you find what works for you, you will appreciate it on a deeper level.

Knowing that your relationships matter and not taking them for granted allows you to get closer to people, which can let in more good stuff all around. If you’re full of good stuff no one can take anything away from you. That’s why being sensitive is actually one of the strongest things that you can be.