What Are Some Good Second Date Ideas?

If you’re prepping for a second date, chances are good that you like this person and that they like you back. Good news. That’s a huge chunk of pressure lifted right off. But now you have to figure out what to do for the second date. It’s not that there are any “wrong” choices when it comes to planning a second date, since if you like each you like each other, but there are some date ideas that are more effective than others. If there’s any question about the interest levels on either end you might as well give yourself the best chance to figure it out.

On a second date you want to avoid doing a repeat of the first date if possible, as well as skipping anything that will make it hard to talk and get to know the person further. For example, going to the movies is not a great second date idea unless you’re planning on getting dinner before or something, but still it’s not a good use of time. The same goes for any music event or show where the talking between the two of you will be limited. The first date generally involved a lot of talking and getting to know one another, and the second date should too. You only scratched the surface the first time around.

As for trying not to repeat the same thing that you did on the first date, it’s not tragic of course, but you might as well use the time to do something totally different and hopefully get a different perspective on the person. Someone might be lovely on a hike but turn into a monster at a bar or vice versa. That’s obviously an exaggerated example since most people aren’t monsters in general, but it can be good to experience some different environments together just to see what happens.

Another thing to avoid on a second date is spending too much time with a group of friends. Sometimes it feels natural to invite someone that you’re seeing to come with you to a friend’s birthday party or something, but it’s generally a good idea to wait on the friend stuff if possible. Going to social events can be totally fine as long as there’s time to hang out with the person. Ideally this would be a mutually desirable event, and not something too intimate at one of your bestie’s homes.

It’s not that it’s necessarily a bad idea to introduce someone to your friends that early on, but rather because there isn’t going to be enough time for you to spend focused on your date when you’re in the company of your friends. Plus, your date isn’t friends with your friends and if they aren’t immediately comfortable they’re going to be uncomfortable even if they’re game anyway. It’s a little early on to bring in those stressful moments when they aren’t really necessary.

Plus, you might as well give someone a moment to get to know you before you bring them around a group of your friends because you don’t want to risk scaring them off over someone else’s behavior. Let her fall for you before she finds out that your best friend is alarmingly inappropriate, because his behavior really doesn’t have anything to do with you and later she’ll be able to appreciate that. Too much too soon and she might group all of these details together when she is making her initial decisions about you.

This might be easier to see if you turned the situation around and imagine going out with a group of her girlfriends for a second date. The concept might sound a little overwhelming…because it is. You would probably feel a little lost trying to keep up with a group of her friends being an outsider even if everyone was totally nice and open, which they might not be. Again it’s probably not a tragedy, but it makes a lot more sense just to wait. Once you guys get a little closer and are sure that you want to be dating there will be more than enough opportunities to hang out with each other’s friends.

It’s actually quite important to figure out if you can carry on conversations with a person in different environments, because if it’s a relationship that you’re looking for you will most certainly want to make sure that you actually like talking to them. Most of us respond to the physical aspects of being attracted to a person and that’s great, but we also don’t want to get so caught up in the physical attractiveness that we overlook the fact that we can’t talk to them. That’s fine for a casual fling that’s focused on sex, or maybe even preferable who knows, but not for a more serious type of relationship.

So now that we know what we should avoid doing on a second date, let’s talk about what we should be doing. Anything that you can do as an active outdoor date is generally a good idea for a second date, but that’s also because it’s also a good idea for a first date and any other sort of date. Going for a hike or a walk creates a relaxed vibe where you can casually talk to one another without staring into each other’s faces like you’re on a job interview. This can make the chatting experienced more relaxed and open both of you up.

Of course you don’t want to do anything that’s too hard or too athletically competitive right off that bat since that’s not the point at all. Those things would inhibit the talking, we’re trying to encourage it. Plus, hiking outside with someone also gives you the opportunity to be cute and steal a kiss at the top of the mountain, or pull out a mini picnic to reward yourself for all the hard work.

Walking around anywhere can provide this sort of casual freedom, so things like art fairs, galleries farmers markets, gardens, the zoo, sporting events, something seasonal, anything like that. Even taking a tour of a brewery or doing a wine tasting or something is a good idea for a second date, since it’s active enough to keep you relaxed and busy without detracting from the time that you need to spend focusing on one another.

If you’re going out for dinner or drinks on a second date make it a different type of spot than your first date if that’s what you did for round one. Maybe there’s a new spot in town that neither of you have tried yet, or a cuisine that she mentioned on the first date that she would like to try.

The second date actually gives you an opportunity to show her that you were listening the first time around, and if you can demonstrate that you were she will certainly notice. Women love to be listened to. We’re very familiar with experienced of being ogled for how we look, so we notice when men are also paying attention to what we’re saying. It shows that you care about making us feel comfortable when we’re around you, which is always a great quality in a guy.

Don’t try to rush getting her back to your place by planning the second date at your home either. That can work, if you’re cooking her dinner or you’re doing a movie marathon or something, but starting the date at home implies that you want it to end there as well and if she’s on the fence about you that might not be the encouragement that she needs. Instead follow her cues on the second date and if she’s interested in taking things back to your place then by all means you can do it at that point. Put it this way, you’re not going to lose her by waiting a minute before moving to the bedroom, but she might feel rushed if you jump to it right away.

The good thing about a second date is that you already know that you can spend some time with this person without looking for an out, since you’ve made it through the first date. Sometimes planning first dates can get a little redundant if you do it a lot, since there are only so many “safe” places to meet someone if you’re not sure that it’s going to go well. Especially when you’re online dating, since it can be hard to know what someone is like when you’ve just got photos and some texts to prep you for the meeting. Once you discover that you’re both in for a second round there’s a lot more freedom for activities and you can relax going into it knowing that it will at least be as enjoyable as the first date, if not more.

Overall a second date should be relaxed and casual, but active and successful in creating an environment where you can be yourselves. Don’t think too hard about it, generally these are the types of things that you might want to do on a Saturday afternoon but might not without a buddy to join you. Now you’ve got a date to join you.