Should You Date a Coworker?

If you work with other people the chance of developing some sort of feelings for one of them at some point is pretty high. Familiarity breeds like, and when you’re working with someone for a while you might get to know them on a deeper level that sparks your interest even if you weren’t immediately interested based on their looks alone. You get to see how they act in normal life as opposed to just on a date, and you can observe their behavior from a distance, as well as have a lot of “innocent” interaction. So the question goes, should you date one of them?

The first thing to consider in this situation is the possible work implications. That is if your job is important to you, which we’ll assume that it is. Some places frown on the behavior, some try to make it a rule that you can’t. These days this doesn’t seem to be as much of an issue as it used to be, but you still want to make sure that you aren’t going to cause any problems.

Another thing to consider is what is going to happen at work if the relationship doesn’t workout. I know, not the most thrilling concept but of course often time they don’t. If this is someone who’s mature and trustworthy than a failed relationship might be a little awkward but not lethal. But if she’s not you could be asking for  some unnecessary drama in your life. Getting to know her before you make any moves is a good call for this reason.

Another thing to think about is how professional you can be when your significant other is close by. Perhaps no one is going to stop you from dating a coworker, but they will expect you to be on your best behavior. PDA is a no go at work, and giving special treatment to the babe is an extra no go. People who know about the relationship might even be on the lookout for things they can complain about, so erring on the side of conservative is a good idea.

Since people will find out about the relationship, be sure and let your boss know about it before they hear it through the grapevine. This doesn’t have to be a detailed conversation, but just let them know that you and whomever are seeing each other and you wanted them to hear it from you. They’ll likely just say “okay thanks.”

Beyond the outside forces to deal with, there are also some different things to think about within the relationship and the way you enter it.

It can be scary to ask out a coworker because you might not know if they’re interested. Is she friendly to everyone or that is subtle flirting going on? She might not be going out of her way to be flirty in the office for professional reasons. Often this leads to the after work drinks situation to test out the waters, since it can be construed as a casual thing if there’s not an interest, or a half date if there is. But watch out for getting drunk and sleeping with a coworker too quickly, because that is a lot more likely to cause some awkward moments if either party regrets the encounter.

If you make it past the beginning stages and actually end up with someone from work, you have to be careful not to get caught up talking about work all the time. Often when you talk to a girlfriend about work she only knows what you tell her. But in this case, she knows as much as you or more. To avoid being all work all the time if you date a coworker, decide that there’s a limit to the work talk. Get it out at the end of the workday, and then move on to relationship time.    

Now on one hand it sort of seems like dating a coworker could be a bit of a hassle, but it might actually be a really great place to find a serious relationship.

There are a lot of different stats out there that state how many couples meet in different scenarios like through friends, at work, on dating apps, etc. And while the majority of people report meeting through friends or just socially in real life, the people who meet at work are the most likely to marry over any other way of meeting.

Plus, dating (or marrying) a coworker means that you guys can carpool to work and save on gas money. Always a bonus.

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