Why Women Cry After Sex and What to Do if it Happens to You

You may or may not have experienced the sudden onset of a woman’s tears following sex, but you probably know someone who has. The concept of it is a little alarming, especially if women’s emotions in general are a little frightening to you. But it might be more common than you would expect, and it doesn’t have to do with how good the sex was.

Studies have found that somewhere between 7.7 and 32.9 percent of women have experienced what’s referred to as postcoital dysphoria, or essentially the sex induced blues. Other studies estimate the number at 46 percent, and that five percent of them experience it regularly.

However, they don’t know exactly what causes it. Some speculate that it has something to do with the hormonal changes that take place during sex and following orgasm, while others think it has something to do with the overwhelming emotional changes that go along with the intimacy of sex and the physical separation afterwards. It even happens to men sometimes.

If you happen to be with a woman who starts crying after you get it on, first off ask and make sure that she’s okay. Sometimes sex is physically painful for women for a variety of reasons, so you want to rule that out first. If she’s fine and has no idea why she’s crying, don’t freak out. Know that she really doesn’t know why she’s crying and it that probably isn’t personal. Some guys might worry about how strong her emotional attachment is if the sex brought her to tears, but in fact it could have nothing to do with the person that she’s sleeping with and just some hormonal change in her own body.

Of course, there is always the possibility that it’s totally personal and the that the act of sex of bringing some emotional stuff up for her that she hasn’t been dealing with otherwise. Let’s say for example that your relationship is a little more casual and she’s been trying to stuff the deeper feelings that have been developing. Or perhaps she’s decided that she wants to move on but hasn’t made the break yet and something about the closeness of sex reminds her that she’s doing the wrong thing by sleeping by you.

Then again, it could be emotional but simply about her. The act of letting go during sex can make it a stress relieving activity, but it can also bring things to the surface that haven’t been dealt with, even if it’s like anxiety about her dog or job. There are many different things that could be happening, so feel free to ask. The most important thing in that situation is making sure that the person is okay and can feel safe expressing themselves without being embarrassed about what’s happening.

It is a good reminder that sex isn’t as always as casual as some people would like it to be. When you connect on that level you can’t ever be entirely sure about what’s going to happen next.